Issue: Maya in her mid 30’s approached me with the issue of having unstable relationships especially in her love area. She described that was married twice and both the marriages failed miserably. She had a son from her second marriage whom she was raising alone. She had no financial and emotional support from the father of the child neither her own family. Her family background showed that she grew up without a father. She mentioned her father passed away in an accident when her mother was pregnant three months with Maya. The mother had to struggle to raise Maya and her older sister.
Resolution: A constellation was set up and representative for Maya and her parents were set up in the field. Maya was carrying extreme anger towards men. This was coming from the mother as she never felt supported by her father and then her husband too. The representative for Maya released this which made her heart lighter. The second aspect Maya was carrying was the missing feeling of a male in her life right before her birth. In fact, she was also carrying the trauma of the mother. All of this was released. Maya’s mother was on heavy sedation due to the trauma. The effects of the heavy medication were released as well.
Along with all of this trauma, Maya’s representative reported of carrying the heavy fate of the father. She was blaming herself for the untimely death of the father and considered herself unlucky for everyone. This is when Maya herself burst into tears because both her husbands blamed her for everything that went wrong in their lives. They called her “unlucky”. This deep emotion of feeling unlucky and being responsible for the death of her father were released. Maya’s representative reported feeling lighter and was able to look at her parents for the first time with love. She was now considering herself loveable.
Over the course of few more sessions, these deep-seated emotions were released completely. She was able to let go off the heavy fate of the father she was carrying. And after eight months, she reported to be dating someone who was compassionate and caring towards her as well as her son.
Learning from the case: If a parent passes away before or during the birth of the child, then there is a tendency that this child will carry the heavy fate of the dead parent. This is because the other parent is deeply in trauma and unable to reach out to this child with love. The result is that the child is entangled into the unprocessed emotions of both the parents affecting the future relationships.
It is often said that a daughter is a father’s girl and a son is a mother’s boy. But the truth according to the systemic consciousness is that a daughter has to feel the nurturing of her mother until her life and likewise a son needs to feel the nurturing of his father. When a daughter rejects her mother or is distant from her, she will experience those qualities she has rejected in her partner and likewise if a son is rejecting his father, he will not be able to grow and shoulder responsibilities expected out of a man.
We need to understand and accept that no one can ever be 100% ideal because we all have inherited the qualities from our family’s energy field. If it did not start with us, does not mean it cannot end here. In fact, bringing this awareness into our consciousness and accepting our parents for what they are will liberate us from the bandages which are subconsciously playing. Placing our parents with love in our hearts enables us to accept ourselves too. Whenever we reject a parent, we are actually rejecting a part of us unconsciously. Hence, bringing this rejection into our consciousness and accepting them unconditionally will open new doorways to living a fulfilling life. Of course, there are many other issues which need to be looked into, but this is the basic thumb rule to let a shift in energy take place.
Case Study: Pradeep 34 years old always rejected his father as he was very irresponsible towards the needs of the family. He was resenting his father right from his childhood. He disregarded him for all the anger and frustration he vented on Pradeep and his mother. As Pradeep grew up, he always struggled in his career. Even after putting in several efforts, there was always a very slow progress or no progress at all.
Resolution: Modality used was Family Constellations and as Pradeep was not comfortable doing it in a group with representatives, we decided to do it on a one to one basis. In the family field, the energies of his father were invoked. And it came up that his father was actually longing for his love. Pradeep first released all his anger and frustration towards his father. Then, he became more open and accepting towards his father’s love. This made him feel instantly lighter on his shoulders and back area as this is place where he was storing all the rejection towards his father.
The moment this happened he broke down completely and suddenly all the love for his father just came up. In the end, he found more relief towards his relationship with his father. About a month later, he walked in to inform that now his business was doing better than before and also he was able to communicate with his father compassionately.
If you desire to experience a one-to-one session of Family Constellations, call me on – +91 9223328544 or email on – firstname.lastname@example.org