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Monthly Archives: May 2019

The journey to uncover patterns that were repeating

Issue: Rahul in his late 40’s read about Family Constellations in a newspaper. This was his beginning of the journey to uncover patterns that were repeating in his financial area. He contacted me to understand the real reasons for these patterns. Rahul was electronics engineer and employed by one of the best in the industry. The real issue was his work being never acknowledged and he was back stabbed by his superiors. He shared during his initial interview that his father had the same issue his government job. His paternal grandfather was murdered by a co-worker at his job over issues of promotion. So, we could clearly see a pattern of making enemies at work.

Resolution: A constellation was set up with a representative for Rahul, his father, grandfather and the male lineage. The males in the family were constantly looking at the floor at some dead person. We placed a female representative and the males immediately wanted to lay down next to this woman. This female representative reported to have been thrown out by the great grandfather. It was supposed to be an extra marital affair and this woman bore children out of this affair. Neither the children nor this woman was given any place in the family.  The woman cursed the men of the family to never succeed as the great grandfather used money to throw her off the village too.

The males of the family were carrying this curse and hence weren’t able to succeed in their careers. The pending atonement was done and forgiveness too. The woman and her children were given their due position in the system. This brought peace in the male lineage. It was the place of the great grandfather to take the ownership of his deeds and lay down next to his victim. When this was done within the field, all was in balance. The descendants could now look at their careers and money energy with love and safety. Rahul’s representative reported to feel much lighter and happier from within.

Two months later, Rahul reported that he was promoted and was offered to move to another country with promotion.

Learning from the case: When there is an imbalance in the system where kids born out of wedlock are not recognized, it creates hindrances for the descendants to move forward in life. The descendants carry the burden of those who are left out and, in a way, sacrifice their success for the recognition of the left out. Hence, it is important to acknowledge the left out and give them their due position in the system to allow the flow of love and life in balance.

Issue of having unstable relationships

Issue: Maya in her mid 30’s approached me with the issue of having unstable relationships especially in her love area. She described that was married twice and both the marriages failed miserably. She had a son from her second marriage whom she was raising alone. She had no financial and emotional support from the father of the child neither her own family. Her family background showed that she grew up without a father. She mentioned her father passed away in an accident when her mother was pregnant three months with Maya. The mother had to struggle to raise Maya and her older sister.

Resolution: A constellation was set up and representative for Maya and her parents were set up in the field. Maya was carrying extreme anger towards men. This was coming from the mother as she never felt supported by her father and then her husband too. The representative for Maya released this which made her heart lighter. The second aspect Maya was carrying was the missing feeling of a male in her life right before her birth. In fact, she was also carrying the trauma of the mother. All of this was released. Maya’s mother was on heavy sedation due to the trauma. The effects of the heavy medication were released as well.

Along with all of this trauma, Maya’s representative reported of carrying the heavy fate of the father. She was blaming herself for the untimely death of the father and considered herself unlucky for everyone. This is when Maya herself burst into tears because both her husbands blamed her for everything that went wrong in their lives. They called her “unlucky”. This deep emotion of feeling unlucky and being responsible for the death of her father were released. Maya’s representative reported feeling lighter and was able to look at her parents for the first time with love. She was now considering herself loveable.

Over the course of few more sessions, these deep-seated emotions were released completely. She was able to let go off the heavy fate of the father she was carrying. And after eight months, she reported to be dating someone who was compassionate and caring towards her as well as her son.

Learning from the case: If a parent passes away before or during the birth of the child, then there is a tendency that this child will carry the heavy fate of the dead parent. This is because the other parent is deeply in trauma and unable to reach out to this child with love. The result is that the child is entangled into the unprocessed emotions of both the parents affecting the future relationships.

The Natural Laws of the Family System

The Natural Laws of the Family System

The Universe has its laws which govern the existence on Earth. These are natural laws for survival. We aren’t able to survive when we are out of alignment of these laws. Hence, it is essential to understand what these laws are. How do they form the basis of our DNA, what kind of actions cause interruptions in the flow of love within the DNA system? Of course, the very foundational basis for these laws is the LOVE which is pure and unconditional. Let us understand these laws:

1)    The Law of Belongingness: We all belong to our system, to our DNA. No one has the right or the power to deny belongingness to another person. Whether the other person is a murderer or did something against the wish of their family, still the right to belong in the system cannot be seized. Each person living or dead has a unique position in the family system. When this law of belongingness is interrupted by denying someone this belongingness, the flow of love is interrupted.

Example: Not long ago when the caste system was at its peak, there were instances when people married out of their caste system. , and they were stripped of their belongingness from their family systems. Taking their names at family gatherings or communal get-together was prohibited. This is how the system got entangled. The descendants repeated similar patterns. When we look at these patterns deeply, we can see these ascendants crying out for belongingness. Once, these missing ascendants are given their rightful position in the system and our hearts with love, the entanglement is resolved, and the flow of love is restored.

2)    The Balance of Giving and Receiving: Nature works on achieving balance. And this is a crucial law responsible for our survival. Any relationship will thrive and prosper when there is an equilibrium of giving and receiving. When love is given and received with love and gratitude, the cycle is complete. But if one person is always at the receiving end and the other one at the giving end, then the relationship will die sooner or later. But this does not apply to the relationship with parents because they have given us this life, and nothing can balance this giving of life. Hence, we need to accept this life from them with gratitude.

In any relationship, when one person gives, it is a natural tendency for the other person to provide a little more. But sometimes, we are unable to understand that if someone is giving us pain, then we need to stop the cycle there. We shouldn’t be giving back hurt a little more. It becomes a never-ending cycle. Hence, it is essential to recognize the entanglement and stop unhealthy giving and receiving. Love thrives when there is healthy giving and receiving of love and other healthy emotions.

3)     The Priority of Bonds: The elder ones will always have their position higher than the younger ones. Even though the younger ones may think they have excelled over their elders, they still will be more youthful in their place in the family system. Respecting this seniority is essential in relationships. For example, the wife from the first marriage will have priority over the second wife. They both belong to the system, but the first wife comes before the second one. When these hierarchies aren’t respected, our descendants are entangled. Someone from the future generations feels drawn to these entangled energies and faces the situations.

These were just a few basic Natural laws of the Family System having a profound effect on our day-to-day living. One may not realize the working of these laws until you start seeing patterns in your life. And to see patterns, we need to dig deeper into our lives, being honest and accepting of whatever comes to light.

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